Idicus shouts: _person_
Myths shouts: Person
Idicus shouts: im bored....tell me s story
Myths shouts: Make it funny

...

Once upon a time, there lived a hermit named Blade_wolf. He had always lived a rather sheltered life, he never got any visitors where he was, in the Swiss Alps. He was rather shocked when a peasant named Drunkmonkey had knocked upon his door, and he was naturally weary of this stranger.Upon drawing his sword and choosing a shield, he opened the door with his blade at the ready, making sure that the stranger was intimidated by him. The visitor let out a small chuckle at the child with a rubber knife and a sheet of cardboard, and decided to ask to come in.

Idicus shouts: lol
Drunkmonkey shouts: awesome just got banned from an irc server.

Still rather weary, Blade_wolf reluctantly let the man in, making sure to keep his "blade" at the ready. He went into the kitchen to make his visitor a cup of tea.

Idicus shouts: wait a minute, Blade knows how to make Tea?

When he got out, he noticed that his visitor seemed rather eager to see him, as though he had been waiting for several years to meet him. After being asked why he was here, Drunkmonkey first asked where Blade_wolf's tea-making skills came from. Blade_wolf briefly answered "That's not really tea, that's water.", and repeated his question. Drunkmonkey then answered "The noble King Idicus has requested your presence in the noble Court of the Stonehaven Castle."

Idicus shouts: and i get to behead them?
Darkal shouts: Bit out of context there

Blade_wolf asked why his presence had been requested, and Drunkmonkey answered "I am unaware of the King's intentions, but I was merely sent here to deliver that message"

Idicus shouts: yep i get to behead them, nothing like a good beheading to start the weekend off right
Idicus shouts: only hurt for a second

Blade_wolf pondered the king's reasoning, and decided that it could not hurt to venture to the castle.
Unfortunately for Blade_wolf, the venture from Switzerland to the Human Plane was a long one, and he would have to pack enough food for several weeks.

Darkal shouts: I bet he's gonna move in with his auntie in bel-air

Drunkmonkey then said, "I assume you packed enough food for the both of us? I must make this venture back as well."

Idicus shouts: is that where Darkal the pack mule comes into the story?

Blade_wolf replied "Yeah, but all of my food for you is in the Ghostly Temple below my house. Find your way into the third level of there, and your food will be there. You can catch up with me later." Drunkmonkey quickly made his way into the cellar below Blade_wolf's house, but was never seen again.

Darkal shouts: huh, sounds familar
Idicus shouts: Zilla killed him
Drunkmonkey shouts: <_<
Darkal shouts: I rather enjoy that story
Drunkmonkey shouts: how about i resurected next to the king xD
Idicus shouts: it was all for the insurance money
Myths shouts: Myths applaudes

Meanwhile, Blade_wolf had made it an entire 10 feet from his house before realizing that he could not carry all of his food! He quickly whistled for his pack mule, Darkal, loaded him with the food, and continued on his journey.

Drunkmonkey shouts: LOL.

It had taken him 7 days and 7 nights to make his way to the Human Plane, and he experienced a culture shock at the bizarre rituals of the locals.

Idicus shouts: hehe

After being warned by the residents of Guild Hall of the dangerous ogres outside of the town, Blade_wolf decided that he should level up before venturing any further. Being the intelligent man that he was, Blade_wolf said, "**** this, I'm going to see the king!!"

Idicus shouts: LOL

After taking 3 steps outside of the Guild Hall, Blade_wolf was ambushed by a rather sinister looking ogre named XpawelX.

Drunkmonkey shouts:
Darkal shouts: I'll kick him :p
Drunkmonkey shouts: lol
Drunkmonkey shouts: im dead ..--.

He quickly ran north, but was abruptly stopped as he came across a moat. He quickly looked back to see his mule, Darkal, being consumed by a band of ogres!

Myths shouts: I've seen Bladie fight someone quick save him!
Darkal shouts: easy come east go
Drunkmonkey shouts: and then i randomly spring from underground as an undead skele and slay th ogre
Darkal shouts: he's screwed now no one is gonna cary his food
Drunkmonkey shouts: Lool
Drunkmonkey shouts: oh wait is that a supercow i see?!

He had very little tolerance for the sigh of blood, and passed out, hitting his head upon the rocks next to the river.

Idicus shouts: in more intrested in the name of the ogre hehe
Darkal shouts: ogre #1
Idicus shouts: wuite mule your inside Ogre #1 stomach

When he woke up, he thought he was dead. Opening his eyes, he saw the beautiful Princess Myths, who had looked like an angel, with the sun gleaming upon her hair.

Myths shouts: Yay!!!!!!!
Darkal shouts: stupid ogre only eats me
Zilla shouts: lol suckup
Myths shouts: Myths applaudes agian
Drunkmonkey shouts: of course you do -.-.
Myths shouts:
Idicus says: lol i was laughing so hard the blizzard slime killed me

The princess said, "Oh, thank goodness you're awake! I was tending to your wounds for hours after the noble knight Pyschonaut found you almost killed by the notorious XpawelX and his band of ogres."

Drunkmonkey shouts: make her be a lost soul
Drunkmonkey shouts: noo fine shes a princess that travels with a psycho saving half dead nubs
Darkal shouts: that one ogres dead by the way, he choked on my bones
Drunkmonkey shouts: yea cause your a fat ass
Drunkmonkey shouts: lol get it ass donkey xD
Myths shouts: Bladie and I have shared some *special* /tells
Darkal shouts: you're just mad you got lost GT :p

She escorted Blade_wolf to the tavern, bought him a cheap apartment, and allowed him to sleep for a few days before speaking to the king.

Drunkmonkey shouts: LOL shes a cheap princess
Drunkmonkey shouts: :p i dont get lost in the GT i just die. and come back XD
Idicus shouts: oh goodie now i get to behead him

After Blade_wolf was well-rested and had finished exploring the town, Princess Myths took him to the castle, and into the king's throne room.

Zilla shouts: i forgot my part D;
Idicus shouts: your the lady in waiting
Zilla shouts: im the real princess shes a fake

"Howdy, Blade_wolf!" said King Idicus of Stonehaven. "Glad to see a newbie make it out of an adventure like that alive! Why didn't you use that newbie gear Drunkmonkey gave to you from me?"

Darkal shouts: that's because your in another castle
Drunkmonkey shouts: LOL mario ftw
Drunkmonkey shouts: were sorry blade wolf. but princess zilla is in another castle.... insert bowser (idicus)

Blade_wolf replied, "Um... I think he stole that gear and locked himself in my cellar!"

Darkal shouts: it puts the lotion on the skin said bladewolf

King Idicus then said, "That's treason, we shall have his entire family beheaded!"

Idicus shouts: YAY
Drunkmonkey shouts: ugh wtf. byby zilla D;
Drunkmonkey shouts: i think zilla could kill everyone in a rage.

Blade_wolf was encouraged to play cards with Prince Phadian while waiting for Zilla the Town Fool to arrive.

Zilla shouts: ....
Zilla shouts: lovely VOLS we have..
Darkal shouts: Hey, I was a ass, be happy with your part

When she arrived, the gallows were assembled, and Blade_wolf and Idicus laughed as Pyschonaut pulled the fatal lever...

Drunkmonkey shouts: fail.

"Back to business," Idicus said, after recovering from his outbreak of laughter.

Darkal shouts: alot of dead people already
Idicus shouts: and King Idicus said "Next" and _person_ was lead up to the Gallows

He then said, "I have been needing your services in a quest, but not even my bravest knights are up for the challenge. I need you to slay the mighty dragon, Turtlebug." Blade_wolf, the brave fellow that he was, accepted the challenge, and King Idicus told him to speak to the local smith, _person_, for better equipment.

Zilla shouts: lol didnt he call him a newbie
Drunkmonkey shouts: send the level 4 to kill the highest level mob..

_person_ gave Blade_wolf the best gear he had, and received a scroll from Blade_wolf, summoning him to the mighty King Idicus. Whatever had happened to the smith, Blade_wolf did not know, but nor did he care. He marched onward to the church, but when he was summoned outside of the church by the portal, he told the priest, "wtf?"

Zilla shouts: lol

The priest, named Syndarin, replied "You are not ready to go to the Demon Plane. Get to level 11 first."

Darkal shouts: well that was a short quest
Idicus shouts: WHAT? Syndarina is my High priest, oh my Relam is screwed
Syndarin shouts: thas rite

Blade_wolf was angry, and shouted, "**** that, I'm not going to get to level 11 to go to the Demon Plane, that place is for wussies!"

Darkal shouts: OH SNAP

The mighty god, Longir, then shouted, "So be it. You will now be summoned to Stoneglow." And so he was...

Drunkmonkey shouts: O.o longir is on?
Darkal shouts: He's attracted the attention of those infinitely his greater....
Darkal shouts: silly, longir is always on....always
Idicus shouts: btw Syndarin the church is behind on my Taxes, gimme or i'll cut ya head off

After asking the locals for directions to Turtlebug's lair, he was directed to the Palace of the Damned, located near Illuma.
Upon entering the palace, Blade_wolf asked a local Lava Golem for directions to the dragon's lair, but soon regretted asking. Blade_wolf was chased all around the palace, until finally, he stumbled and fell down a hole, and when he recovered from his fall, he encountered...

Darkal shouts: hilly billy lava golems :/ gotta hate em

The ghost of Drunkmonkey was floating before him. He quickly cast his Magic Bullet spell, watched the ghost dissolve, and went through the door ahead of him. Through that door, he encountered the mighty dragon, Turtlebug, and found that he had lost control of his sphincter.

Idicus shouts: lol

Drawing his Iron Tanto +1, DPS 3.0, he dropped it and ran as the dragon shot flames at the spot where he had stood. As he darted aside, he tripped on a pebble, and fell down, crying for his mother. The dragon then said, "OMGZ u noob! how the f did u fall? I feel sorry for you, so I'll allow you to slay me."

Turtlebug shouts: wtf?
Darkal shouts: what a twist
Idicus shouts: ya i was waiting for the dragon to eat Darkal the mule
Darkal shouts: Uh I've already been eaten thank you for very much

As Blade_wolf charged, dagger in hand, at Turtlebug, and the mighty dragon swung his mighty tail at Blade_wolf, breaking both legs and an arm.

Idicus shouts: Turtle you a picky dragon

As Blade_wolf had given up all hope on life, the ghost of the mighty mule, Darkal, rushed from the shadows and carried him away. Blade_wolf then passed out at the sight of his own blood. When he woke up, he found himself in the Stonehaven Castle with the Princess Myths tending to his wounds once again.

Idicus shouts: Woot Darkal the see thru Mule
Darkal shouts: I'm like rudolph execpt I go through walls

Myths then said, "That's twice I've saved you. The first time was free. Where's my money?"
Blade_wolf checked his pockets, and found only one linen lint +2 of greater fluffiness. When he offered it to Myths, she said, "Next".

Darkal shouts: greater fluffiness :p

Blade_wolf looked towards the gallows and saw the priest, Syndarin, about to die. He was then pushed forward, awaiting his fate. King Idicus then said, "Kill them both at once, it'll save time." After he was safely harnessed in his gallows, Blade_wolf looked over and saw Darkal tethered down next to him.
"3... 2... 1..." Said Idicus, and Blade_wolf saw Joeshmo, the mighty mage, cast a Lightning spell at Darkal.

Idicus shouts: yes time is money

He didn't manage to see it hit, because he felt a sharp pain in his neck for less than a second...

Darkal shouts: damn, you think I would have just floated away

"Next!" shouted King Idicus. "This is the last one," said Myths.
The smith, _person_, stepped up to the gallows, and said, "No way! I'm going out with honor!" He quickly wielded his Bonecurse +4, and bludgeoned himself to death.

THE END

Darkal shouts: THATS ALL FOLKS

Thanks

I've been in that group since I originally wrote my mapping guides.

  Great Great Story PersoN next time i need my name in there

After King Idicus had finally recovered from his laughter, he looked at his son, Prince Phadian, and said, "Oh, that was a great laugh, now son, go to the Happy Noob and buy me some whiskey!"
Seeing this as a perfect opportunity to carry out his plot against the King, Phadian rushed to the Happy Noob, purchased a bottle of whiskey, and ran to get to the town Apothecary.

Drunkmonkey shouts: oh god not again
Idicus shouts: i hope my son knows whiskey IS a poison all by itself

Upon entering this rustic-looking building, Phadian encountered an old looking woman, couldn't have been younger than 200, stirring up a cauldron of a mysterious purple liquid.

Chewinfat shouts: *insert more jeprody music here*
Idicus shouts: uh ho, cant wait to see who the old Hag is
Drunkmonkey shouts: wouldnt doubt it if it was me ..

After she noticed his presence, the woman said, "Well hello there, my name is Bedark. What can I get for ye?"

Darkal shouts: younger then 200? what
Drunkmonkey shouts: lol
Idicus shouts: cackles

The young prince then said, "I am plotting against the King of Stonehaven. I need a vial of your most brutal poison, to make him regret all of the vile things he has done to our society."

Drunkmonkey shouts: whos the king of shh
Drunkmonkey shouts: damnit person... i was rading your story and died
Idicus shouts: LOL, did i sneak up behind drunk and cut his head off

Bedark then replied, "Ah, you must be looking for a solution of hemlock. I'd be happy to make some for you, but unfortunately I am out of ingredients!"

Drunkmonkey shouts: send him to jail '
Idicus shouts: nah i perfer cutting heads off

"I would be happy to find the ingredients that you need," said Phadian. After the woman wrote a list of the ingredients she needed down on a Scroll of King Idicus, the prince set off on a journey to find the ingredients.

Blade_wolf shouts: lol
Idicus shouts: wait a second Phadian knows how to read??

The first ingredient on the list was the leaf of a hemlock plant. Phadian knew that his father had planted some in the garden a while back, and decided that the gardens would be a great place to look.

Blade_wolf shouts: wait a second idicus knows how to think?
Idicus shouts: ya to get rid of my ex-wife, worked out good that hemlock
Drunkmonkey shouts: LOL

Knowing that the garden was well-guarded, Phadian began to ponder a way to get inside the gardens without being discovered.

Drunkmonkey shouts: <_< who guards a garden... Giant rabbits?
Blade_wolf shouts: no giant idicus twins i think they are beholders lol

Eventually, Phadian remembered an old friend by the name of Ddhanna, who had a Ring of Invisibility of Yordan that he cherished.

Drunkmonkey shouts: lmfao
Idicus shouts: nah im a cheap king, i dont pay in coin, work for me or i cut your head off
Darkal shouts: Atleast it's better then drunkmonkey
Darkal shouts: oh wait...

The prince went into Ddhanna's house that night, searched all through his chest, and finally found the prized ring...

Drunkmonkey shouts: why would you keep it ina chest and not wear it xD
Idicus shouts: i had all of DDH fingers cut off for eating before me.

Meanwhile, in the throne room, King Idicus was busy beheading his guards, angry that his son was taking so long delivering his whiskey.

Blade_wolf shouts: i say we impeach idicus! lol
Blade_wolf shouts: anybody second that lol
Drunkmonkey shouts: lol idicus its ok

"I'll tear each and every one one these guards up myself until I get my damned whiskey!" Exclaimed Idicus.

Idicus shouts: hmmm my Executioner is going to busy this week i see

Phadian put on the stolen ring and walked into the gardens, invisible. It was very difficult finding the plant he was looking for in the darkness, so Phadian took one leaf from each plant.

Idicus shouts: hope he wanders into that strangling vine i had planted last month

After leaving the gardens, he quickly ran back to Ddhanna's house, returned the ring, and checked the scroll again.

Idicus shouts: well at least my son isnt a thief

The next ingredient he needed was the Horn of the Lord Lon'Li'Uni'Sm. He had no idea where he could find this artifact, so he consulted the library of Stoneglow.

He had searched nearly every book in the library, but at last he found the source of knowledge he had been looking for. The Codec of the Mausoleum of Moroch.

Knowing that the Mausoleum was a dangerous place, Phadian knew he had to find someone who could help him on his journey.

Blade_wolf shouts: *prays it isnt me*

Suddenly, as though his life were merely a story, the ghost of the ghost of the mighty mule Darkal sprang from the shadows.

Blade_wolf shouts: wb mule lol
Idicus shouts: bloody hell that Mule has 9 lives
Blade_wolf shouts: *is wondering if my legs and arm is still broken*

Phadian rode the mule to the Mausoleum, slowly lowered him down the grave, and then jumped in after him.

Blade_wolf shouts: Out comes Blade_wolf and pushes Phadian down the grave and puts a really big rock over it trapping Phadian in
Darkal shouts: I go afk and I'm about to die again awesome
Blade_wolf shouts: <---is a genious
Darkal shouts: I'm twice the ghost you were

"Why don't you go in and charge him, and I'll go in after you." said Phadian. Darkal willingly obliged, and when the mule was out of his sight, Phadian went in to retrieve the horn.

Idicus shouts: YAY Blade_wolf you can have some of my whiskey
Blade_wolf shouts: what?

After rounding the corner of the entrance to Lord Lon'Li'Uni'Sm's room, Phadian was shocked at the sight he saw...

Blade_wolf shouts: what does that have to do wih anything
Blade_wolf shouts: *wonders what the sight was*
Darkal shouts: I bet it's me getting eaten
Blade_wolf shouts: i hope its you being eatin
Darkal shouts: how do you eat a ghost of a ghost exactly?

The mule had actually succeeded in killing the vampire! How that had happened, he did not know, but he was relieved that he didn't have to fight it himself. After grabbing the horn, Phadian checked the next item on his list. It was the fang of a dragon.

Chewinfat shouts: bye all supper time
Darkal shouts: Being twice dead gives you super powers Turn undead dead
Chewinfat shouts: nvrmind i don't wanna miss story
Idicus shouts: *cackles* lets see him get a tooth from Turtlebug the dragon

The only dragon he knew was the fearsome Turtlebug. Luckily for him, that dragon was already killed by the hermit, Blade_wolf.

Idicus shouts: Nuts!
Blade_wolf shouts: The ghost of Turtlebug the dragon reappears and kills Phadian with one mighty hit to the nuts lmao
Idicus shouts: what? Turtlebug ate Blade_wolf and got food poisoning?
Blade_wolf shouts: lol

He then rode the mule Darkal to the Palace of the Damned, slaughtered every monster in there, and made his way to the dragon's lair

As he entered the room of the dragon, he expected the dragon to be dead. Unfortunately, Blade_wolf had lied about slaying the dragon. "How could I have believed such a fool?" Phadian thought to himself. He quickly dismounted Darkal and dodged the swing of the dragon's tail. The mighty mule, Darkal, could not get out of the way fast enough, and was killed again.

Blade_wolf shouts: Huray for lying!
Idicus shouts: LOL
Blade_wolf shouts: lol
Darkal shouts: damn
Idicus shouts: Darkal you must have pissed off the gods to get killed this many times
Darkal shouts: and yet I still keep coming back as a mule
Darkal shouts: next time I'll be a ghost of ghost of ghost mule
Idicus shouts: hmmm btw who is my tax collector?

He quickly checked his rucksack for something that could save him. All he had found was the herbs he had obtained from the castle gardens. Figuring it was worth a shot, Phadian put half of each leaf in his hand, and as the dragon lunged to take a bite of him, he dodged, making sure his hand was in the way of the bite.

Idicus shouts: hmmm maybe my son isnt all that bright after all
Blade_wolf shouts: lol neither are you idicus neither are you
Idicus shouts: im the King, i dont have to be bright

Shouting in pain, he ran as fast as he could, making sure he survived until the hemlock could set in and kill the dragon. After running for several hours, Phadian remembered a line from a book he had read...

Blade_wolf shouts: idicus i wanna be your new tax collector
Blade_wolf shouts: *is gonna take 50% of everything he collects*
Blade_wolf shouts: so how about that job lol

"The hemlock is a poisonous plant, but it will have no effect on a creature larger than a small elephant." Swearing to himself, he dodged for even longer, hoping the blood in his arm would clot...

Idicus shouts: i'll think about....*whispers to Joeshmo* "get the axe ready, Blade_wolf is next on the list"

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning shot from the ceiling and killed the mighty Turtlebug. A voice then shouted from the heavens, "Now, you must rest. I will take care of your wounds."

Blade_wolf shouts: *hopes its the pizza god* lol
Idicus shouts: stupid GMs always getting in the way of things

Phadian quickly fell asleep, and when he woke up, he found himself with both arms, in the Happy Noob Inn, with the tooth of the dragon in his rucksack.

Blade_wolf shouts: stupid kings always gotta be so bossy and complain so damn much! lol

"The first time is free, the next time, you will pay!" shouted the God of Daimonin, Longir. He checked his scroll and found that all of the ingredients needed for the solution of hemlock had been obtained. He then rushed back to the Apothecary to tell Bedark of his accomplishment.

Blade_wolf shouts: *gives longir te money out of fear*
Idicus shouts: no wonder, its longir
Blade_wolf shouts: Apothecary? wtf?

Bedark was impressed at the skills of the young prince, and quickly made him the solution of hemlock he requested. He then mixed the whiskey and the hemlock, and rushed back to the castle to find the king. He had never even considered the fact that he had been gone for several days, and when he got into the throne room, he was not at all surprised to see the king in a raging mood.

Blade_wolf shouts: *phadian gives King Idicus the solution of hemlock in a whiskey bottle and says "Drink up father."
Idicus shouts: WHAT??? i went several days without any whiskey? oh the Horror!

"I have brought you your whiskey!" said Phadian. The king replied, "Next." and Joeshmo entered the room.

Idicus shouts: YAY

Having seen this happen before, the former prince rushed out of the throne room and looked for a place to hide. He knew that the museum beneath the castle was a vast place, with plenty of places to hide.

Idicus shouts: Gett'em Joe!
Blade_wolf shouts: hell yea i was right idicus is gonna drink it and die its about time lol

As soon as he had settled into his hiding place, Phadian heard voices saying, "Yes, he's in here, charge around that wall in 5... 4... 3..."

Blade_wolf shouts: *out comes Blade_wolf and leads Phadian to the Library_Secret and tells phadian to stay in here to hide*\

The countdown hadn't even had a chance to finish before Phadian heard a tremendous crash, and saw the ceiling above him cave in upon his enemies.

Idicus shouts: Nuts
Blade_wolf shouts: *Blade_wolfs says "damn wrong person*

He blinked, and found himself sitting upon the throne of his father, with his legs resting on the body of the dead King Idicus.

Blade_wolf shouts: lol
Blade_wolf shouts: woohooo! ive been trying to kill him all along and then some kid comes along and it was that easy no fair lol

Longir's voice boomed through the room, "That is twice I have saved you. Now PAY UP!" All Phadian had was the poisoned whiskey, which he offered to Longir.

Idicus shouts: YES!!!!

Longir then took the bottle, and opened it...

After doing so, he clubbed the young king in the head with it, it broke, and then he started slashing at the disoriented man.

Blade_wolf shouts: on no longir is gonna die and if he dies we all die run lol
Blade_wolf shouts: damn he didnt drink it
Blade_wolf shouts: lol

After he knew the prince was dead, Longir descended from the heavens and sat upon the throne of the mortals.

Idicus shouts: i knew i should have offed Longir a long time ago

Joeshmo then entered the throne room from the secret entrance in the back, and charged up a lightning spell that would deplete all of his Mana...

Blade_wolf shouts: no!!!!! *jumps on the throne before longir can and ends up getting smited*
Idicus shouts: Go Joe Go!
Blade_wolf shouts: yea what he said kill longir so i can get the throne! lol

After Joeshmo cast the bolt at Longir, the god wished he had not transformed into his mortal form. As soon as he had uttered a single word, "****!!!" he was dead.

Idicus shouts: LOL
Joeshmo shouts: ate my wheaties today
Blade_wolf shouts: Blade_wolf assumes the throne as the new King of Stonehaven and puts all of the town into slaves lol

The ghost of Blade_wolf then appeared from the shadows and said, "Well done, Joeshmo, I see you have eaten your wheaties today. Unfortunately, that throne should have been mine, and I will do anything needed to take what is rightfully mine, that throne."

Blade_wolf shouts: woohoo lol

The ghost of Blade_wolf glared at Joeshmo, and Joeshmo humored the ghost, pretending to die.

Blade_wolf shouts: Blade_wolf shoots the dead body with a CLW just to make sure joeshmo is really dead

Blade_wolf then sat on the throne, with a smug grin on his face, not paying attention to Joeshmo leaving the room...

THE END

Blade_wolf shouts: To Be Continued......

Another chapter, but I think this one wasn't as good as the first one.

all that damn family violence *thinks silently in his head needs way more* lol
 *taps foot waiting for another story*

Maybe compile them and open daipedia entry